Jump to content


Photo

A love that'll never happen


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 AzNlUv4BoA

AzNlUv4BoA

    Wowow! BoA is awesome!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 399 posts

Posted 11 July 2009 - 09:44 PM

*
POPULAR

Okay, so you know how everyone says there always someone for somebody? As the years passed I realized it's so not true. People say I'm not looking in the right places, but the right places are the places I've been and the places I've been is everywhere. I just feel like I'll never find love. And all my life since I was a little girl was wishing to fall in love. Everyone has someone. My friends, my little cousin, and my 10 year old brother. 0.0 I'm 18 going on 19. It's kinda upsetting.

The guys I fall in love with are always the ones that are 1) taken 2) don't want to be in a relationship 3) straight up assholes.

It's only been recently guys have been noticing me and yeah. =\ They aren't looking to date me. There looking for something else. If you guys know what I mean. And I let them.. Thinking that maybe it'll change. I wanna know is there something wrong with me?

My friends love me and they wouldn't want in any other way. So why don't the guys see that? I'm funny I make people laugh. I'm not gonna lie I'm loud when I want to be. I pretty down to Earth. You can talk to me about anything. I love trying new things. . But what is wrong with me?

Is it because I'm Asian? Is it because I'm not skinny? Is it because I don't look like Megan Fox?

I'm getting sick of guys using me, but stupid me always feels that maybe just maybe they'll like me more than THAT..

My hearts been played around and tossed around. I'm beginning to lose hope. Maybe there is something wrong with me..

It's sad to see everyone around you is falling in love and I'm rotting away..

Do you guys even believe in love?



#2 dalilvietplaya

dalilvietplaya

    My girlfriend just dumped me. -_-

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,042 posts

Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:10 AM

I do believe in love, but love doesn't come easy you have to work at it.

First and foremost let me just say that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Absolutely nothing, so stop thinking that there is.

1. Don't worry about who's in a relationship or not. So your 10 year old brother has a girlfriend, that means nothing. You just haven't found the right guy to cater to you, and trust me eventually he will show up. So for now relax and enjoy the single life. [BTW chances are.. your 10 year old brother isn't really actually "in love."]

2. Maybe you shouldn't try as hard to find Mr. Right. Chances are he could come and find you. Don't go around looking for potential guys to date.. it makes you look like a player.. if anything.

3. Guys will always have THAT in their minds. Deal with it, but don't give in to it.

4. Just remember, no on else in the world is like you... so that means you are SPECIAL to someone, somewhere they just haven't realized it yet.

5. Its easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart. So keep both in check.

6. Again referring back to my No.1 nothing is wrong with you. No its not because you're Asian, or you're not skinny... and stop comparing yourself to other girls dammit. You are who you are... just let it be.

7. Don't get into a relationship just because you're "lonely." [Thats neither fair for him nor you].

8. Don't lose hope, thats the one thing in this world that can save you.

9. You're not rotting away, you're only 19. You still have a lot of time to grow up.

But mama said, you can't hurry love. No you just have to wait. She said love don't come easy..



#3 miduhyo

miduhyo

    My girlfriend just dumped me. -_-

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,778 posts

Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:49 AM

Yes... i believe in love very much. I know its out there. Maybe its a little lost, but its the journey that counts -- not the destination. :D

I agree very strongly with what Dali ^^ said. There is NOTHING wrong with you, NOTHING at all. Please don't think that, honey! :)
You're not alone in this search. I've been searching too! Granted I'm only sixteen so you don't have to listen to me since its not really an adult perspective. But i promise you that you'll get what you deserve, and you deserve a lot, you're a great person and right now you're a little lost.

And thats okay!


To be lost is to find your way, right? But you have to take a breath, look around and enjoy what you have. I've been taught that you'll find something -- once you stopped looking for it -- it'll come around. Just stop looking behind the bends! You have to stand still so it can catch up to you!

And you know whats the hardest about not being in a relationship? Seeing how everyone else is, right? I get very cornered when i see my friends talking about their boyfriends/being with them, you know? You kind of just sit there and think "Oh god, get me out of this situation." I've been known to basically just flee the scene right there and then just because of that factor. After a little bit though, i started to think to myself "Stop begging for it and it'll come" (like i said earlier) and then i started to focus more on myself! I made myself become better.

Now please, please! don't mix up what i said right there. I don't mean i made myself become better like how guys will look at me, or anything like that, i mean that i made myself better for me I made myself proud to be who i was. Every morning i'd wake up and look in the mirror and just think "You look great today!" and i'd make myself happy! If you walk around with a droopy expression everyone is going to get a different perspective of you than who you really are! Be yourself, be confident, don't doubt! Love comes in mysterious ways!

Easy thing to remember out of this all is "It'll come once you stopped looking for it!" my parents taught me that when i lost an earring when i was like 9. haha, and i remember it now, and it helps me with everything that i feel is lost. I promise you it'll happen. and remember -- Don't think anything is wrong with you! You are who you are and you're loved for it! If you change... you won't be who you are? Get it? haha. I know its easier said then done -- but i promise -- just relax and enjoy the ride!!! :)

Edited by miduhyo, 12 July 2009 - 01:50 AM.


#4 nokkie

nokkie

    I can't get BoA off my mind!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 738 posts

Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:54 AM

I totally agree with dalilvietplaya and Miduhyo.
(Hehe i'm 14 turning 15, so like miduhyo said, you don't have to listen to me but i hope it helps.)
Don't let yourself think that your not good enough, that your inadequate.
You have a lot to offer and it's only a matter of time before someone realizes it, and hey your still young you have heaps of chances (;
If you like a guy but he's not interested in having a relationship, you can always be friends and if all he wants from you is 'that' don't give in. Don't let him use you, don't let him think your 'easy' because you deserve better.
You deserve way better.
There will be a guy somewhere out there that will treat you for what your worth.
He might even be right under your nose for all you know.

You'll have your heartbroken, you'll break hearts, and eventually you'll find 'the one'
It'll hit you when you least expect.

And yeah..i do believe in love.
Even though i haven't found it yet, i'm sure it'll be worth the wait.

Edited by isolated-angel, 12 July 2009 - 02:04 AM.


#5 Y2Kevtjai

Y2Kevtjai

    K n K`s Fansubs

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,095 posts

Posted 12 July 2009 - 02:13 AM

It's only been recently guys have been noticing me and yeah. =\ They aren't looking to date me. There looking for something else. If you guys know what I mean. And I let them.. Thinking that maybe it'll change. I wanna know is there something wrong with me?

I'm getting sick of guys using me, but stupid me always feels that maybe just maybe they'll like me more than THAT..

This is a wrong way of thinking the guy will eventually love you. A true relationship doesn't start with "that". Sex is only part of it after the relationship has been set. True love needs to come from two sides. And try to avoid guys only looking for "that moment". High chances they don't look for true love.

You make it sound like you're a failure just because you don't have a boyfriend and the rest do. That's definitely not the case and you have still many years to go! Be proud of who you are. Every person has its own specific qualities. The right person will eventually meet you. I do believe in love and that you're already destined to meet that person in your life.

And if you were rejected just because you're Asian for example then that guy is just too narrow minded.

Edited by Y2Kevtjai, 12 July 2009 - 02:14 AM.


#6 boaislove

boaislove

    My family just disowned me!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,893 posts

Posted 12 July 2009 - 04:11 AM

First, don't let the relationships of your friends with their boyfriends/girlfriends pressure you from finding your own boyfriend as soon as possible. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that he's the one who you'll marry someday, nor does it guarantee your true happiness. There are opportunities that are unique for both single individuals and people who are in a relationship.

It's only been recently guys have been noticing me and yeah. =\ They aren't looking to date me. There looking for something else. If you guys know what I mean. And I let them.. Thinking that maybe it'll change. I wanna know is there something wrong with me?

I agree with what Kevin said about this.

Please, don't let this happen again.

It's always better to start with a deeper form of love than to start with sex. Look for people who will reciprocate your love, and not those who just want to satisfy their lust. Engaging in sex in hopes of that person learning to love you eventually is a big gamble, and most people who do this sex-before-formal-relationship often find tragedy. Don't make the guys feel that you are easy to be had, you are so much better than that. Sex doesn't = love.

Moreover, no, there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is unique, everyone has something that makes them tick and makes them special. If that's the case then everyone in the world has something wrong with them. What you are right now is what will make the person who you will be with someday, love you.

Is it because I'm Asian? Is it because I'm not skinny? Is it because I don't look like Megan Fox?

There is nothing wrong with being Asian, there is nothing wrong with being not skinny, and heck, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being no Megan Fox.

Just like what I've said before, these qualities of you are what will make the person right for you love you, just the way you are. You said it yourself - you have a great sense of humor, you are humble, and you love trying new things, in short, you are fun to be with. It might be just that the people who you had fallen for weren't looking for this qualities, but look at the whole world in general. There are millions of guys in the world who wants to be with people with qualities like yours :D


You are definitely not rotting away, it's just that you haven't met the one who will "need" you. Miss, you are ONLY nineteen years old. There's no need for you to rush these things up. There are still lots of opportunities that a single lady that you can have, may that be on school/work or on your family. There is nothing wrong with being single. If I were you, I will just focus on my school/work, and try to be the best that I can be first, before thinking of having a partner.

Don't look for love, for it will find you by itself :)

#7 Kung Fu Hung-Su

Kung Fu Hung-Su

    My girlfriend just dumped me. -_-

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,090 posts

Posted 12 July 2009 - 04:49 AM

I'll try to give you some more insight, as a a slightly older guy at 22.

Okay, so you know how everyone says there always someone for somebody? As the years passed I realized it's so not true. People say I'm not looking in the right places, but the right places are the places I've been and the places I've been is everywhere. I just feel like I'll never find love. And all my life since I was a little girl was wishing to fall in love. Everyone has someone. My friends, my little cousin, and my 10 year old brother. 0.0 I'm 18 going on 19. It's kinda upsetting.

Someone told me, that you should always compare yourself only to your past self. This is because comparing yourself to another person is ALWAYS unfair to both yourself and the other person because you aren't the same. Maybe the other person has had lots of help, maybe you have had lots of help, maybe they were lucky, maybe they were born with something - there are so many things that could be different that almost all comparisons are ultimately unfair.

If today you did something better than you did yesterday, that's progress. If every day for the rest of your life you manage to do things better than the day before, then that's absolutely spectacular.

The guys I fall in love with are always the ones that are 1) taken 2) don't want to be in a relationship 3) straight up assholes.

1 and 2 sound like they're worth having as friends regardless. And most people can make do with having more friends :] If you're concerned that having feelings for them would get in the way of being friends, then that concern has to drop. Just about everyone I know, myself included, has had intimate feelings grow or fade for their friends, but they can't let that get in the way cos friendship is so valuable and irreplaceable.


It's only been recently guys have been noticing me and yeah. =\ They aren't looking to date me. There looking for something else. If you guys know what I mean. And I let them.. Thinking that maybe it'll change. I wanna know is there something wrong with me?

I find it very difficult to develop a serious kind of attraction with a girl if they are that easy to start with. It's often a lot of fun, sure, but that "thing" which keeps me coming back to a girl, makes me want to hug her, date her, talk to her - it doesn't seem to come if things start like this. Most of my guy friends are the same. The ones who say they aren't are actually kidding themselves cos the "relationships" that start that way don't ever seem to last.


My friends love me and they wouldn't want in any other way. So why don't the guys see that? I'm funny I make people laugh. I'm not gonna lie I'm loud when I want to be. I pretty down to Earth. You can talk to me about anything. I love trying new things. . But what is wrong with me?

Is it because I'm Asian? Is it because I'm not skinny? Is it because I don't look like Megan Fox?

Gosh, there's so much I wanna say here.

If you want a guy to fall in love with that part of you, and they don't see it, I gotta wonder, did they get a chance to see it? If they did, how long did they see it and what did they do? You sound like a girl that's easy to fall in love with, but only if we get to see that part!

As for your ethnicity, build and look, I have to say something. I used to be quite a skinny guy, but in the past few months have become very solid, and I now have a body that just about all my guy friends envy. As for the girls though, something odd happened. The number of girls who were interested in me didn't really go up much, it just changed. Some of the girls I knew liked me better as a skinny guy cos they thought it was sexy, and now when I hug them them they say they don't like that they can feel my muscles underneath my clothes. Point i'm trying to make, is that whatever you are, whatever you look like, there are people who like that look. If you change the look, you'll change which people like that look, not necessarily how many people do.

I'm getting sick of guys using me, but stupid me always feels that maybe just maybe they'll like me more than THAT..

My hearts been played around and tossed around. I'm beginning to lose hope. Maybe there is something wrong with me..

It's sad to see everyone around you is falling in love and I'm rotting away..

Do you guys even believe in love?

The only thing that's wrong is that you think there is something wrong. Once that's gone, all is good.

#8 Spring Sakura

Spring Sakura

    My family just disowned me!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,539 posts

Posted 13 July 2009 - 01:25 AM

Okay, so you know how everyone says there always someone for somebody? As the years passed I realized it's so not true. People say I'm not looking in the right places, but the right places are the places I've been and the places I've been is everywhere. I just feel like I'll never find love. And all my life since I was a little girl was wishing to fall in love. Everyone has someone. My friends, my little cousin, and my 10 year old brother. 0.0 I'm 18 going on 19. It's kinda upsetting.

The guys I fall in love with are always the ones that are 1) taken 2) don't want to be in a relationship 3) straight up assholes.


Stop looking. Honestly, that's how it's done. I'm 21 this year, and I didn't have my first boyfriend until last year --do I regret it? No.

Men are like wine; they improve with age. Sure there are a few that are great even when they're young, but the older you get, the more 'good men' come around.

Of course it's upsetting --and when you're single and everyone else isn't --its kinda like 'What the hell?! Is there something wrong with me or something?" And you start looking high and low for that special someone. But trust me, they never pop up when you're looking.

I graduated from High School thinking 'awesome, university --my mr. Right will HAVE to be there! Or at the very least ---I'd start dating'
---totally wrong.
It wasn't 3 years later lol, did I meet my current boyfriend --and it wasn't when I was looking, but actually when I was completely happy being single.

It's only been recently guys have been noticing me and yeah. =\ They aren't looking to date me. There looking for something else. If you guys know what I mean. And I let them.. Thinking that maybe it'll change. I wanna know is there something wrong with me?

My friends love me and they wouldn't want in any other way. So why don't the guys see that? I'm funny I make people laugh. I'm not gonna lie I'm loud when I want to be. I pretty down to Earth. You can talk to me about anything. I love trying new things. . But what is wrong with me?

Is it because I'm Asian? Is it because I'm not skinny? Is it because I don't look like Megan Fox?

I'm getting sick of guys using me, but stupid me always feels that maybe just maybe they'll like me more than THAT..

My hearts been played around and tossed around. I'm beginning to lose hope. Maybe there is something wrong with me..

It's sad to see everyone around you is falling in love and I'm rotting away..

Do you guys even believe in love?


You're still so very young ---and boys around your age are usually filled with hormones more than brains --so yeh, they're pretty much always looking for THAT. The older men that will look your way at this point probably aren't the cream of the crop either, because you're so young.
So, my advice is wait. The more you look, the more undesirable men see you looking --and they'll take advantage of that.

It sounds like crap, and it's probably not the answer you're looking for, but it's the truth.
As the saying goes, 'Good things come to those who wait' --and it's true.

Think of it this way, your perfect man is out there; but right now --he's still being developed --maybe even if you met him now, it wouldn't work out. So just sit back and wait. I know for a fact that if I had met my current bf in highschool, we would never have gotten along; him being a jock, me being a nerd. Hell if we'd met while he was still in university, we wouldn't have worked out.

There's nothing wrong with being single --you can do things your attached friends can't. You go where you want, when you want. Eat what you want, when you want. There's a particular freedom to single-ness that you'll miss when you're attached, so treasure it while you can.

=)

Besides, if you look at it statistically --with the amount of people on this earth, there's got to be one that's right for you.
If your only problem is with waiting --then, there's really nothing anyone can do to help you with that.

#9 Evolution

Evolution

    My family just disowned me!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,227 posts

Posted 13 July 2009 - 07:52 AM

I'm willing to bet that there is at least one guy out there who has feelings for you. It's just that he may be a bit shy, or even intimidated by you and doesn't dare to come forward. Trust me, I'm like that, or was anyway.

I won't reiterate what everyone here has already said.

But I will tell you this. There is no reason for you to beat yourself up. If you think about changing yourself because you think no one likes the person you are now, don't. You are not the problem, its them.

Its a tough time for teenagers your age. Boys your age are only thinking about one thing.

Sometimes, good things happen when you least expect it. Chloe is a prime example, if I may.

#10 Airforce

Airforce

    I'm an official BoA fan!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 234 posts

Posted 14 July 2009 - 07:58 AM


Is it because I'm Asian? Is it because I'm not skinny? Is it because I don't look like Megan Fox?


I think its cos your writing's so small that its quite frustrating to read....... nah I'm kiddin.
OK, I'm gonna answer your question from a different angle. what I say may even come across as harsh but u can relax cos its not directed at you directly. BUTTTT anywayz like I have certain lady friends yea? who have no idea why they can't get a bf, but truth be told, they are pretty messed up. i.e, crap personalities, self centered, not down to earth, inconsiderate of other people, not even pretty (but this isn't really the MAIN issue cos looks aint everything), and the WORSE part is that they're totally oblivious of the fact that they are like this. They have no clue and find no fault in themselves cos their head is stuck so deep up their own arses it aint even funny. They get real sensitive and defensive if u suggest that they might be wrong? And like SERIOUSLY NOW! PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD! WE ALL KNOW SOMEONE LIKE THIS RIGHT?!?! EVERYBODY KNOWS SOMEONE LIKE THIS!!!

Look, I dunno you in person so I aint the one to judge, but Mz Aznluv4boa, I'm sure you'll find someone special, given that you aint messed up. You should be fine. It's just a matter of time, like everyone says.

BUT SERIOUSLY! ALL OF US HERE KNOW AT LEAST 1 PERSON LIKE THAT OF THE ONES I DESCRIBED? AINT THAT RIGHT?!?!

#11 Cori

Cori

    Teh Hajiman Sexy Fail Kru's Ultimate non-asian BoA fan

  • BoAjjang Administrator
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,296 posts

Posted 01 August 2009 - 09:41 AM

Im 18 going on 19 in almost 2 months and I have yet to have a boyfriend. I know how you're feeling right now. But you have to stop thinking about other peoples relationships, they're totally different people, no matter what anyone says.
My sister has had boyfriends out of the wazoo all through junior high, high school, and so on so I though that once I got into JR. High, boys would start liking me. However, after I got into sophmore year and still hadn't had a high school sweetheart, I finally realised that my sister was in an intirely different year, with different people, all looking for different things. And none of my classmates weren't looking for a 5 foot 5, strawberry blonde, white girl that listens to asian music. For a while I thought it was because of my love for asian music that no one wanted to date me, so I tried shutting it out, but I have come to accept that it is apart of me now and that if someone doesn't like it, oh well, they're not the one for me.
The best things come to those who wait.
Prime examples:
Spring Sakura (Chloe) and Chidori (Rebecca)

I haven't heard much about Chloes relationship lately, but she already said something about it. Becca didn't have her first BF till she was 20 or so and now shes 21 and still with the same guy (Scot) and they're engaged =D!
You have plenty of time, don't worry your little head :wub:!

#12 mlyap7_boa

mlyap7_boa

    Would take a bullet for BoA

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,004 posts

Posted 06 October 2009 - 07:43 PM

Umm... I strongly believe in love & I think you should just wait...
True love will come 1 day when you & the other person have this special feelin for each other...
Love is not a feelin, it's a commitment where you'll treat your partner more important than yourself...
I've had crushes in the past & man I seriuosly though they were true love but then I came to my senses & realize that love is not just this sudden feelin that you get when you see someone (okay maybe sometimes coz I do believe in love at first sight)...
But hey, anyway I decided to wait, I'm 17 now (still young actually but I don't think I'm gonna go into anythin hastily anytime soon)...
My conclusion, just wait & your time will come... :D

#13 Elusion

Elusion

    Nubberstatic

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,977 posts

Posted 27 December 2009 - 08:47 PM

Haha. Girl. All I have to say it trust ur feelings and don't think too much. Taking myself as an example, I have been evergreen even till now. I'm 19 turning 20 next year.
But seriously speaking, we are still at the adolescence stage. Depending on each individual, we have varying levels of understanding for the word "love"
I am not going to go that far to talk about falling in love and whatever, but do think about it. U said u fall in love right? Try asking some seniors for advice, especially older people. Not singling out anyone, but hey, age really makes a difference. As u grow older many things change.

Take it easy. I still believe and holding on to the word "fate". yes..u can create ur fate, but ultimately, it's outline is given to u. =)
Goodluck.

#14 hinachan

hinachan

    Spending too much time online ^_^

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,468 posts

Posted 06 January 2010 - 12:36 AM

Right now, you should be just dating and having fun. You're WAY too young to get involved in a seriously committed relationship. Even if you know other people your age who are, they're usually the people who end up marrying and divorcing young.

I was very mature for my age, and even I didn't know who the heck I was until I hit 30. I'm still not married yet, though there is someone in my life whom I'm seriously considering marrying, if/when the time is right. We've known each other half my life, and even though I've "fallen in love" with other guys, he's usually the one I come back to--we're "friends", but I think there's potential for us. It's just that our life situations prevent us from taking things any further right now.

So, instead of stressing about not having a guy, develop yourself and find out who you are. Because, take it from one who knows, it really sucks when you're with someone and you later realize either you, or that person, has totally changed because one or both of you has grown and matured. :lol:

#15 Landwand

Landwand

    I know BoA*

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 44 posts

Posted 10 January 2010 - 12:45 PM

Hmm..

I have just turned twenty-seven.

So I suppose that I must be one of the older members of this board.

There isn't some one for everyone. Not everyone is destined for love, or even happiness. I don't believe in such naive thinking. Yet all that said, you need not buy into the thought that you are doomed.

This is a completely random world and it is all up to chance. Whether your perfect somebody exists is a number's game. But if you are willing to have normal standards you may yet find happiness, at least in a mediocre way. I mean -- companionship.

You need to stop giving guys what they want. By withholding for a time until you feel it meaningful, it would help weed out the trash from the keepers. Let it be a filter for you.

I'm 27 now. I've never even been on a date. The thoughts and questions that you ask yourself I have asked myself again and again. "What's wrong with me? Am I doomed to be alone? Do I deserve to suffer? Am I too strange?" In these last few years, I have finally learned to master my emotions to an extent where I no longer need them. (I wouldn't recommend that though, lol!)

You do not need love and companionship to be a whole person. But it certainly does help one's self-image, and improves quality of life (most times, but not always!). That being said, I know from personal experience that loneliness is perhaps the most difficult battleground. And you never can win.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users