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A love that'll never happen


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#16 Kung Fu Hung-Su

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    My girlfriend just dumped me. -_-

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 05:42 AM

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This is a completely random world and it is all up to chance. Whether your perfect somebody exists is a number's game. But if you are willing to have normal standards you may yet find happiness, at least in a mediocre way. I mean -- companionship.

No, it's not all up to chance. People are far more in control of their lives than you can imagine. I've lost count of how many people I've met who came from tiny country towns and flourished in the city better than I have - taking charge of their lives is more powerful than what the world will throw at you. Also, your perfect somebody is never found. They are forged by you, and you by them.

You do not need love and companionship to be a whole person. But it certainly does help one's self-image, and improves quality of life (most times, but not always!). That being said, I know from personal experience that loneliness is perhaps the most difficult battleground. And you never can win.

Why do you say such bizarre things? That you first say that love and companionship isn't necessary but then say that loneliness is a battle that can't be won?? It would probably be better to say that loneliness is a path that never ends, but that's about as useful as saying that humans are bipeds.

#17 Landwand

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Posted 12 January 2010 - 08:40 PM

No, it's not all up to chance. People are far more in control of their lives than you can imagine. I've lost count of how many people I've met who came from tiny country towns and flourished in the city better than I have - taking charge of their lives is more powerful than what the world will throw at you. Also, your perfect somebody is never found. They are forged by you, and you by them.


Why do you say such bizarre things? That you first say that love and companionship isn't necessary but then say that loneliness is a battle that can't be won?? It would probably be better to say that loneliness is a path that never ends, but that's about as useful as saying that humans are bipeds.



Buddha believed that humans suffer because of desires that cannot be fulfilled. If you remove these feelings of desire, goes with them your sense of deprivation and grief. The only way that you can 'cure' loneliness is to remove the human desire to have companionship. But as social creatures, we're psychologically and physically inclined to seek the company of others. A quick cure for loneliness is to have companionship. But if you are stuck being alone -- the battle is a bit more difficult. It comes with self control: to not fall into a spiral of feeling lonely and despairing because you are alone. This is what I mean - you can't just wake up one day and say, "I'll never feel alone again." It is quite possible to feel alone in a myriad of faces, and it certainly is more than possible to feel alienated from your spouse.

We are corporeal beings and we can only change so much of our lives. Coming to terms with reality is a great part of maturity.

You're free to agree or disagree with me. But I don't want to hijack this thread.

Edited by Landwand, 12 January 2010 - 08:47 PM.


#18 Kung Fu Hung-Su

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    My girlfriend just dumped me. -_-

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Posted 13 January 2010 - 03:20 AM

Buddha believed that humans suffer because of desires that cannot be fulfilled. If you remove these feelings of desire, goes with them your sense of deprivation and grief.

The only way that you can 'cure' loneliness is to remove the human desire to have companionship.

You would also have an utterly boring person. All the people I've loved being with most showed passion in many things, which allows them to be passionate in people. A person who never suffers is dead.


A quick cure for loneliness is to have companionship. But if you are stuck being alone -- the battle is a bit more difficult. It comes with self control: to not fall into a spiral of feeling lonely and despairing because you are alone. This is what I mean - you can't just wake up one day and say, "I'll never feel alone again." It is quite possible to feel alone in a myriad of faces, and it certainly is more than possible to feel alienated from your spouse.

Self control was not good enough for me. Better to have friends who you see regularly and can spot when things are not so great. Yeah it's possible to feel alone in a sea of faces, in which case you're going to have to take some time to understand yourself, and why you feel alone.

But as social creatures, we're psychologically and physically inclined to seek the company of others.

http://www.theatlant...oc/200303/rauch
Not all of us.

We are corporeal beings and we can only change so much of our lives. Coming to terms with reality is a great part of maturity.

A little off topic. lol. better spoken about in the Evolution thread.

#19 --e n k y o r i*

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    My girlfriend just dumped me. -_-

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Posted 25 January 2010 - 07:50 PM

The problem is that if you let them have your body when they want,
Without any strings attached, do you think they'll put any commitment in?
If they know they can have it when they want anyway,
Then you're going to get that label and when men look at you,
They'll only see that, and not a potential girlfriend.

Also, if you think you've been falling in love over and over,
Chances are its not love, but just an extreme admiration/lust.
I think people start throwing the word love around,
When they really really like someone and get butterflies,
But its so much more than that. You'll find so many people,
That you want really badly and want to be with for a long time,
But that doesn't necessarily mean its love every time.

I think the main problem is your naivety.
You like boys who are well... pigs who objectify women,
And then you lower your own standard because you want to be loved.
Sex isn't love, its not even close. You'll just feel worse afterwards.
Theres nothing wrong with you, if you're pretty & funny,
Boys pay attention to you, so now instead of just settling for that,
Aim higher and don't let guys have what they want, when they want,
Just so you can feel good for a little while and then like crap the next day.

In essence,

DONT SELL YOURSELF SHORT.
Goodluck~



Also---
I'm starting to think this Landwand person,
Is just really lonely and depressed.
Which would explain why being euthanized doesn't bug her.
(Refer to Evolution thread)

Edited by --e n k y o r i*, 25 January 2010 - 07:53 PM.


#20 kitzutsuita

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Posted 11 February 2010 - 12:59 PM

Sex is a tool for lovers to enjoy more of their relationship.
If you abuse this pleasure, you will reap what you sow... a one night stand and nothing more.

------------------
If you think that it is hard for you to find love, when you are straight--- then you don't know that it is even harder to find true love for those who are gay/lesbian.
Their numbers of possibility is practically cut in half, if not more. So don't belittle yourself and know that there is someone out there.
You just don't need to look at every guy and decide that he is the one for you.
Let it happen. When you don't think of it, it will come.
Like an item that is lost, when you want to look for it, you can't find it. When you don't need it or want it, it comes.

So enjoy your life and not worry about love.
And when that right person comes into your life, take it slow and see if he is the one.
Don't rush into things thinking that you are going to die alone, lol.

#21 Beyondios

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Posted 11 February 2010 - 04:23 PM

There's a really good quote that I got off of somewhere (don't remember where exactly) and it goes like this:

"Once you can honestly say that you are happy with your life, then, and only then, should you allow someone else to share it with you."


Stop looking for "someone". You won't find them that way. When you are content with being single and enjoying life that way, you will find love in the most unexpected way.

I'm not going to say you're going to find it FOR SURE, because you never know. But you have to realize that there's way more to life than having a boyfriend and you can enjoy those things fully and STILL have the best time of your life without someone by your side.

Trust me, I've been there. Actually I'm kinda similar to you. I'm also 18 going on 19. But I've never had a boyfriend and would never let anyone use me. I've had plenty of chances to do that, but I'm not taking it. Because I know that right now I'm still in the process of developing as an individual. I have self esteem issues and a bunch of other problems that need to be taken care of. Needless to say, I'm not that happy at this point of my life. I decided I will focus on working to make my life better instead of looking for a guy (most of them are immature at this age anyway...and are only after that ONE thing) to share my life with. I'm not ready for that. Maybe you think I'm weird for thinking this way...but that's just how I am. I did at one point think there was something wrong with me, and why guys always wanted to do THAT stuff with me. But I got rid of those thoughts.

There's nothing wrong with you. If you're not happy because you want a boyfriend, work on being happy first. Then finding a boyfriend who actually loves you for YOU won't be hard at all because you don't even have to look.

I hope I helped.

#22 Airforce

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:28 AM

Is it because I'm Asian? Is it because I'm not skinny? Is it because I don't look like Megan Fox?

All 3




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