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Online Dating, good idea?


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#91 Black_BoA_Gal786

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 02:06 PM

YES, I was wondering when you'd be back! :]
I was also wondering if you read the whole topic, & I assume not.
Where have you been, I must ask?
But don't tell if in return you won't ask where I've been in relation to this topic.


I was grounded, I was caught cheating out of my computer work to play on the internet, so I had to finish 5 book reports before I could get back on the internet, you shoul've seen me without internet, not a pretty sight. Now that you've mentioned it, yes, were've you been?

#92 Ricadonna

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 03:06 PM

I was grounded, I was caught cheating out of my computer work to play on the internet, so I had to finish 5 book reports before I could get back on the internet, you shoul've seen me without internet, not a pretty sight. Now that you've mentioned it, yes, were've you been?


Oh, I thought you meant you'd gotten in trouble with someone online or something, which would explain your view on this topic. Because that's whay my story's about so now I feel kind of duped. :) :P

I didn't realize that you meant where you've literally been, or ... something. I thought you meant experience-wise, not why you've been literally away. OR SOMETHING. I don't know. WHATEVER. I'll tell you anyway, because it'll keep the topic going (though I don't really understand how your story gave you a reason to think that you can't trust adults on/with the internet).

Anyway, I like to consider my opinion on the subject of online dating an unbiased one...
Well, not 100% unbiased, but pretty reasonable...

People have been using examples where kids can get in trouble through 'online dating'.
I being one of those kids. But I actually wasn't "dating" him; I'd just talked to him online for about a year & we were pretty good netfriends. However, I had my phone number in an away message so my friend could call me or something, and he saw it, and even though he didn't know exactly where I lived & I hadn't put up my area-code, he found out & called me.

I answered luckily, & we talked. It was actually pretty pleasant the first 2 times, & I lied to my parents saying it was a friend on vacation so they weren't suspicious about the long distance, but then the next morning he called & I couldn't answer, my mom did instead. He didn't call again, & I was grounded from the computer, but he showed up at our house too. It was f-cking scary, because you know, it occured to me at that moment that I might not really know this guy & what if he was going to kidnap me and rape me or kill me or something?

My parents were there to deal with it though, & called the police. We didn't want to get involved so i think they just questioned him & let him off with a warning or ticket for disturbing us & trespassing on private property or something... It was in 6th grade & my parents didn't clearly explain it so I don't really know what happened.

ANYWAY, he kept calling, but on a different number & we couldn't race it because he'd *69'ed it. He was phone-stalking my family & me for 3 weeks until my parents called the police & filed charges, as well as a restraining order. A lot more happened, after he broke his restraining order, but that's another story entirely.

However, because of that, I know the dangers of "online dating".
BUT, what responsible, mature adults really looking for love & not just easy targets for rape or something, do is stay safe... they don't look on Yahoo! or AIM or something, because that's where pedophiles & 'desperate, creepy, etc.' people lurk... they look on actual dating websites where it's almost impossible to pose as someone else. They need identification - that I imagine would be too tedious to forge for pedophiles that could easily pick up some naive 13 year olds on myspace - that has your name & address and stuff. That's why you don't find big news about match.com or eharmony.com; however I think we've all heard of Yahoo! closing its chats because of all the people trying to pick up underage girls & sharing kiddie porn; MSN closing their chats because a user got raped or something; etc.

#93 Black_BoA_Gal786

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 03:13 PM

Oh, I thought you meant you'd gotten in trouble with someone online or something, which would explain your view on this topic. Because that's whay my story's about so now I feel kind of duped. :) :P

I didn't realize that you meant where you've literally been, or ... something. I thought you meant experience-wise, not why you've been literally away. OR SOMETHING. I don't know. WHATEVER. I'll tell you anyway, because it'll keep the topic going (though I don't really understand how your story gave you a reason to think that you can't trust adults on/with the internet).

Anyway, I like to consider my opinion on the subject of online dating an unbiased one...
Well, not 100% unbiased, but pretty reasonable...

People have been using examples where kids can get in trouble through 'online dating'.
I being one of those kids. But I actually wasn't "dating" him; I'd just talked to him online for about a year & we were pretty good netfriends. However, I had my phone number in an away message so my friend could call me or something, and he saw it, and even though he didn't know exactly where I lived & I hadn't put up my area-code, he found out & called me.

I answered luckily, & we talked. It was actually pretty pleasant the first 2 times, & I lied to my parents saying it was a friend on vacation so they weren't suspicious about the long distance, but then the next morning he called & I couldn't answer, my mom did instead. He didn't call again, & I was grounded from the computer, but he showed up at our house too. It was f-cking scary, because you know, it occured to me at that moment that I might not really know this guy & what if he was going to kidnap me and rape me or kill me or something?

My parents were there to deal with it though, & called the police. We didn't want to get involved so i think they just questioned him & let him off with a warning or ticket for disturbing us & trespassing on private property or something... It was in 6th grade & my parents didn't clearly explain it so I don't really know what happened.

ANYWAY, he kept calling, but on a different number & we couldn't race it because he'd *69'ed it. He was phone-stalking my family & me for 3 weeks until my parents called the police & filed charges, as well as a restraining order. A lot more happened, after he broke his restraining order, but that's another story entirely.

However, because of that, I know the dangers of "online dating".
BUT, what responsible, mature adults really looking for love & not just easy targets for rape or something, do is stay safe... they don't look on Yahoo! or AIM or something, because that's where pedophiles & 'desperate, creepy, etc.' people lurk... they look on actual dating websites where it's almost impossible to pose as someone else. They need identification - that I imagine would be too tedious to forge for pedophiles that could easily pick up some naive 13 year olds on myspace - that has your name & address and stuff. That's why you don't find big news about match.com or eharmony.com; however I think we've all heard of Yahoo! closing its chats because of all the people trying to pick up underage girls & sharing kiddie porn; MSN closing their chats because a user got raped or something; etc.


woh, I can't imagine what that could've been like, it sounds creepy, like you said.

#94 whiteblossom

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Posted 18 March 2006 - 12:07 PM

I think it all depends on the person. Well...would you really have a choice if you can't talk on the phone and your boyfriend/girlfriend is miles away? If you KNOW you can trust them, then I think it's safe. Just don't deny your guts or instincts when you have the feeling that something is wrong with the relationship. There are people in the world who would use the internet for bad purposes. I think dating sites are there to help because they someone narrow it down for you and they have age restrictions and whatnot...Talking online to someone you didn't SEE before is different than talking to a "hot" person in the mall. (I don't think that last sentence made sense, lol)

My teacher hates MSN because it gives people the idea that they're behind a shield and can feel free to do whatever they want.

Negatively, that can lead to harassment and such (that's what my teacher was talking about in the first place) or worse, like people lying about who they are you...then you meet them...etc. Positively, it can show who you really are and you'd know if someone would love you for who you really are, or who you're not.

In a sense, I'm in an online relationship (even though he lives in the province next to mine) so it's from experience. And we've had this relationship for a really long time. We've seen each other's photos, web-cammed, and talked on the phone a FEW times, and still we're both happy, even though we want to like, see each other face to face.

In other words, I agree with Satokasu Suki.


Dunno if my post made sense, but oh well!




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