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How important are looks, really?


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#1 Jakalope'sBoy

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 12:28 PM

We are bombarded with good looks everywhere we go. Media (TV, billboards, magazines), people going clubbing, personal websites (myspace) and the internet in general.

I want to know your brutally honest opinions.

This is my before and after thinking.

The handsome guys and beautiful girls can get anyone they want.

Wrong. We all have a different set of inclinations. A person's eyes, hair colour, skin colour, smile, height and weight can have a dramatic impact on what someone perceives to be attractive. Some people may be undeniably unattractive but again because of race this person could end up "not being someone's type."

They can get ahead simply because of their looks.

In some cases yes but in most cases wrong. In most job interviews the smarter candidate will usually prevail. In some workplaces someone may get ahead because of their appearance but for that person it may be sacrificing who they are and knowing they are just valued for one thing alone which is depressing. And how much people do you see taking the "adult entertainment" route in life because they feel they have nothing left in their life. No significant other, no friends, no one.

They can't possibly depressed. They just have to look in the mirror or go outside and get some attention.

This is dumb. This whole reasoning is ignoring what is being felt inside and this is how pulchritudinous people feel most of the time. Ignored in the inside, paid attention to on the outside. That's hardly balanced.

They are by default confident.

Wrong. Confidence is something that takes work in the inside. Rejection, not being good looking enough, not being smart enough, basically feeling insufficient can have a toll on the way someone feels about him or herself.

This is what I think the benefits and cons of being good looking is:

Benefits

Attractive: to be attract is to attractive so it will be easier to make friends, get to know people, have people approach you and catch some interest of people.

No external insecurity
: This is one thing that doesn't have to be thought of since the self-depricating thoughts of "I'm ugly" are not profound and non-existent. Makes dressing up and looking at the mirror fun.

Favourtism: Can be an employers, teachers or friend's favourite simply because of appearance.

Cons

Attractive: Just because its easier to make friends it doesn't mean these friends will be beneficial. They can be a bad crowd, so goes for dating people and having others catch interest.

Favourtism: There is a certain pressure you must live up to and if its not lived up to it causes disappointment because these people expect too much.

Only cared for appearance: It is obviously a compliment for someone to appreciate the way you look but when it is the only thing that matters to them and anything you have to say is brushed off it gets annoying. What is fundamentally worse is that if your appearance only matters there are a lot more attractive people out there making you nothing unique.

I truly think the thing that can attract most people is confidence (and following through with it). I think that is the best drawing force and makes anyone look ten times better. I consider myself a good looking male and as BoA said in "Girls on top" "I want to keep my appearance as it is and be dignified." That's how I feel. The only benefit I feel is "no external insecurity". I think we all live the same lives more or less even those who have wealth (though admittedly they live the easiest of all). Those have wealth can be rich but are they emotionally/mentally/physically healthy??

All that was written above was my feelings on the subject. What are yours?

#2 Ricadonna

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 12:44 PM

Appearance is really important.

If someone looks mean, you want to stay away from them. If someone is hot, you want to be noticed by them (sometimes). But at the same time, you don't pass a beautiful stranger and think "this person has a good personality," because it's almost impossible to tell what they're truly like based on looks alone. But if they do catch their eye, it's incentive to get to know them.

It's good in communicating too; socially, in business, anywhere really.

To quote (from memory), because I had to study for my Comm Apps test...

Appearance indicates:
- attitude towards the situation
- attitude towards the listener
- self-regard
- knowledgeability

The judgement is based on
- hygiene
- dress
- first impressions of body language

Being considered beautiful or nice to the eyes is a good thing; like you said, it creates favouritism. But without confidence, that beauty fades quickly or is greatly satured.

I don't consider myself beautiful; pretty/cute, yes. Other people agree with me -- I'm not "hot" or anything. People have even said to my face it's because I don't have that "white girl hot" look. But I am really confident (not egotistic), and people really do recognize that. If you know where you are in the world and just broadcast it, people know.

Edit
However, humans are shallow. You can try and play the martyr and say "Looks don't matter at all!" but everyone is shallow to some extent.

Edited by Ricadonna, 12 February 2006 - 12:49 PM.


#3 Guest_SuYen_*

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 12:47 PM

Reminds me of high school....

Well you know what, people do get attracted by good looking people. Good looking people hangs out with other good looking ones. You got a whole package there. In that pack of group they are hanging out together cuz they probably got the same own definition of "Good looking people".

Majority of the people in the world really judge by the way people's looks trust me my friends, employers when they see an ugly girl they will say they are horrically ugly by whispereing to me. Infact everyone does. People get affected right away if they are ugly.

Everyone is also going for the body. In my area, the girlz and guys are looking for body and looks. If you aint got it. I think you would be gone as a loner.

I think its really Bull crap. This is why I try to make friends with everyone who arnt as good looking. And bring them to my friends so we can all hang out. If my friends dont like them, too bad for them.

YEs beautyful body and faces attracts me but that is just a game for me. What attracts me is whatever attracts me that I think it counts as an attraction. Thats my definition of attraction.

Edited by SuYen, 12 February 2006 - 12:51 PM.


#4 Jakalope'sBoy

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 01:06 PM

SuYen, I agree with all of your post except this...

I think its really Bull crap. This is why I try to make friends with everyone who arnt as good looking.


What makes them any better? Judging by your post, the good looking people have a nasty personality by your perception. But I don't think its fair to dismiss those who aren't as good looking to not have a lousy personality either.

Ricadonna
, right on again. I don't have the site for it now but if someone wants me to find it, it indicates that body language is 90 percent of our communication and 10 percent is our verbal. This is where Ricadonna was very accurate on, if someone looks angry people will likely stay away from them.

Again, Ricadonna you were onto something. This is where I think confidence plays in. Something as simple as race can make someone seen as unattractive. People should be aware that not everyone is going to like them based on whatever they have or do not have but still be able to hold their head up high regardless of what some people may think.

I think why confidence is so important is because it shows a person is willing to be aware of the bad things, even experience the adverse but sure of him/herself that they can overcome these obstacles because they deserve to. They don't hide behind (or think they deserve everything solely based)looks, intellect or personality, they accept themselves as whole and perhaps afraid but know they have to endure challenges and is aiming for success. Once people get the RARE feeling that someone isn't hiding behind their looks, intellect or personality they cannot help to be drawn because it is such a rare occurence to have someone accept their strength/weaknesses in its whole entiriety and willing to be at the place they dream.

#5 Ricadonna

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 01:23 PM

Ricadonna, right on again. I don't have the site for it now but if someone wants me to find it, it indicates that body language is 90 percent of our communication and 10 percent is our verbal. This is where Ricadonna was very accurate on, if someone looks angry people will likely stay away from them.


Nonverbal communication is actually 94% of our communication. Body Language & Appearance are two of the four elements of nonverbal communication. (Dang, I studied so well for this test. XD)

Again, Ricadonna you were onto something. This is where I think confidence plays in. Something as simple as race can make someone seen as unattractive. People should be aware that not everyone is going to like them based on whatever they have or do not have but still be able to hold their head up high regardless of what some people may think.

I think why confidence is so important is because it shows a person is willing to be aware of the bad things, even experience the adverse but sure of him/herself that they can overcome these obstacles because they deserve to. They don't hide behind (or think they deserve everything solely based)looks, intellect or personality, they accept themselves as whole and perhaps afraid but know they have to endure challenges and is aiming for success. Once people get the RARE feeling that someone isn't hiding behind their looks, intellect or personality they cannot help to be drawn because it is such a rare occurence to have someone accept their strength/weaknesses in its whole entiriety and willing to be at the place they dream.


Exactly.

Last year and throughout my years of middle school, I lacked so much confidence. You always hear about how you shouldn't care about what people think, but people do anyway. But I was such a bad case of that -- I cared so much about what people thought that it ruled almost every single aspect of my life. I was even worried about what my family would think of me if I wore a certain jacket or shoe or whatever.

I don't even know what triggered it, but starting at the end of last year, I just stopped caring. I guess it was because in high school, there was so many people, some that I liked, some I didn't like, and those who thought the same of me. I didn't have to impress anyone by trying; I just had to... be myself (ew, cliche). And now I get a lot more attention, even if I'm not the majority of my school's idea of "hot" and don't dress revealingly.

But in the grand scheme of things, appearance greatly affects almost every single aspect of people's lives. For instance, in business... if you were going into an interview, but the first thing the boss saw you do was snooze in the waiting room, his first impression of you is going to last through out the whole interview.

Socially... You walk into class the first day of school and there is a person sitting in the front row, and they have bad hygiene, dress badly, whatever. Even if the next day they clean up, it won't matter, because the first opinion/impression you had of them is one that they can't take care of themselves, are possibly poor, etc.

Stereotypes come into play in first impressions too. Your "label" and social identity (the way you act, dress, talk, etc) tell a lot about you, and are part of the whole body language thing. There are a lot of people that dress 'gangsta' at my school, and even though I don't know them, I think to myself "ugh... I do not want to hang out with this person." I don't want to hang out with gangsters, even if that's just the way they dress and not the way they really are.

Does that make me a bad person? I don't believe so. I try not to judge, but first impressions are last impressions; you can't really help forming opinions on someone.

#6 Guest_SuYen_*

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 01:25 PM

SuYen, I agree with all of your post except this...
What makes them any better? Judging by your post, the good looking people have a nasty personality by your perception. But I don't think its fair to dismiss those who aren't as good looking to not have a lousy personality either.


Oh yeah sorry, I also try to make my friends understand a lil bit. Maybe I exaggerated with my friends a lil bit but not all my friend's are like that. They do have the perspective of those restricted people's looks but NOT as much. But I was just saying majority of the people IN the world are restricted with too many thing interms of looks.

#7 Kung Fu Hung-Su

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 02:42 PM

Hmm, I have a bit of a mixed view on the subject. Looks in terms of myself, or other people? For myself, getting better looking is hugely important. Not because I think it will allow me to make more friends or get a better looking girlfriend, simply because if the things I believe make me unattractive disappear, I know I'm getting healthier physically.

I am well aware that looks have no correlation with how fun/smart a person is...working with kids for a year and a half taught me that. They don't seem to care at all what their teachers look like as long as they are fun.

As for other people, whether you base your interest in them based on looks is your opinion. SOME opinion on their looks is totally forgivable, you'd be excused for not wanting anything to do with an obvious druggo for example. As for a closer relationship, whether looks are important to you is also your choice. Usually beautiful people date beautiful people, less attractive people date less attractive people but they don't have to.

#8 nksj28

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 06:50 PM

I think appearance is a big factor in our society. But I also think that it's not the best thing about society. It's pretty well-known that people strive to look like the "attractive" people in the world, but this often leads to things like plastic surgery and eating disorders or whatever - a world of superficial qualities. On the other hand, it's important to feel attractive or at least somewhat decent so that you have self-esteem.
I think sometimes the "attractive" people (which varies with culture anyway) seem to "look down" on the less attractive ones. It seems a bit unfair for those considered more attractive to get more privileges than those that aren't considered as attractive.
Point being, it's what's on the inside that counts the most.

#9 kwonnie

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 07:06 PM

It is very important.
It's part of daily life. Japan is starting to adopt pretty boys AND pretty girls as well. Sounds like favortism.
Yes, people with good looks usually have more company, however, if his attitude sux, it won't make a diff whether he looks like brad pitt or not.
The list goes on and on abt the benefits of the looks.

The cons? Well, you may get too dependent on it, esp the girls. But you can easily break it out anyway. So i dun see any major cons

#10 weirdnshort

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Posted 13 February 2006 - 09:36 PM

yes, looks are important... it hard not to judge ppl based on their appearance.

and yes, our society's a bit shallow.
If you're good looking, you'll have better opportunities.

if you're a total b*tch but is gorgeous, you'll have a better chance (that is untill ppl find out your real personality) On the other hand, if you're ugly, unless you're brilliant and or has a great personality, not many would give you a second glance.

#11 Kung Fu Hung-Su

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Posted 13 February 2006 - 10:10 PM

On the other hand, if you're ugly, unless you're brilliant and or has a great personality, not many would give you a second glance.


Isn't that what we're talking about here? If you were ugly a lot of people wouldn't give you a second glance anyway, nevermind stopping to talk and get to know you.

#12 atlanticgal

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Posted 13 February 2006 - 10:28 PM

my sister is so effected by appearences that when she watches a movie shes like "EWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES SO UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" but im like "well someones appearences doesn't always shows in their personality. just because they look ugly to u, maybe they hav a really good personality" but she said "EWWWW BUT SHES SO UGLY!!! I WANNA VOMIT" or she calls her friend "SHES SO FAT AND HAVE BUDDHA EARS" so she ALWAYS changes friends because they hate her for critizing them. then when one of my friends are alittle chubby, shes like "ew, shes FAT" WTF!! den before she would ALWAYS go to the mirror and go "AHHH IM UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and my brother would ALWAYS say like my friends are ugly and and fat and gorilla or godzilla etc......SO CORRUPTED!!! I HATE THIS 'WHOS SKINNY WHOS FAT' GAME! im alittle overweight and my brother looks at me like im NOT good enough to be his sister O_O wat da heck!!! i think looks is a horrible horrible thing! i wish i was blind. Looks are important, like in my school, if they see a pretty girl, they'll be like 'o shes pretty lets be her friend' but if its somone hideous, they say "ew get away from me!" -__-" its really annoying. it happened to me when i first came to this school. it took me like...2 years to get my reputation bak on the normal scale than all the way down to 0 just because I am not 'pretty' enough.... before, when im really really ugly, they won't listen to wat i say (maybe because it was in 6th grade and ppl there was very immature) and call me names like terriorist. it just really suxs to be born in a world where the face you grew up with and couldn't change was being critizied by others. wat is pretty anyway? i mean having a straight nose, big eyes and long hair pretty? being like 5kg is prettier than 100kg? what is pretty???


this world makes 'beauty' seem like a tall blonde skinny long faced super model of horror.

Edited by atlanticgal, 13 February 2006 - 10:36 PM.


#13 Winged_Weltall

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Posted 14 February 2006 - 10:41 AM

Looks don't matter if you know the person. But if you dont know the person, you might weant to get to know the person. IMO whether a girl is hot or ugly I wont say "I dont even want to know that girl" I would say, "Well, first I should get to know her before I start making comments". Its sad that today a lot of people are judged by their looks. That's why there is racism, people are judged because of their skin. Theres a******s of every kind, blacks whites, chinese, eueroppeans, whatever. But there are nice people frm everywhere too. You CANNOT judge people b y their looks, it's not fair and you wont benefit from it.

#14 Dreamer01

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Posted 14 February 2006 - 03:39 PM

In our messed up society we are engulfed with good looks everywhere. We were raised with the mentality to look good or strive to be like those on television. And its very true that alot of the individuals we have today judge by appearance. "I'd hit her but with a bag over her head." and "That guy doesn't deserve to be out on the streets" are common slurs that we hear in everyday life. But that is life and life in our society is pretty messed up. I do believe in the concept of "dont judge a book by its cover" and I bet you all do too, but when we first lay eyes on something so beautiful we think "man he/she is pretty/hot/sexy/beautiful". We wont ignore the fact that s/he is pretty and think of their "inner beauty". Same with the less fortunate with the so called "ugly" people. As our first impressions we probably think "s/he is ugly" same deal with the earlier statement. We wont ignore the fact that s/he is ugly and think of their "inner beauty".

But thats just my opinion and who knows what thats worth :lol:

#15 jiingo

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Posted 14 February 2006 - 10:23 PM

Looks are important, but they don't matter in the end. Looks get your
foot in the door, or they don't give you a chance. If you look the part,
you'll get the opportunity to show off your personality. If you look out
of place, you won't get to open your mouth.

Elaine: Then how are all these people getting together?
Jerry: Alcohol.




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