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#46 4761922860

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Posted 30 July 2006 - 03:51 PM

I know asian parents all hit their children;

Not all asian parents hit their children. Mine don't.

My parents don't own a store so yeah.

#47 zengauner

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Posted 31 July 2006 - 03:49 AM

the more he loves you..the mroe he hit..= =..haha
I think he just want to teach you..That's all..
and I got to do house work too..= =..and I hate it but still..

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Posted 31 July 2006 - 08:02 AM

Hold on a second....why is this thread stereotyping asian parents? I'm half japanese, but I grew up with my hispanic grandma and she loved to hit her kids. Its not just asians, its any race. I doubt the Japanese hit their children anyways ^_^ ...spirits must be respected, and disrespecting the body harms the spirit.

#49 Jonnie

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Posted 31 July 2006 - 08:18 AM

Don't feel bad. I know many people who work for their parents' store. It's justified though. Your parents are feeding you, clothing you and sending you to school. I'm sure they buy you nice things you want too, right? It may be tough, but I'm sure the only reason your parents are making you work is because they need your help.
But it seems you are being overworked, so you may want to consult them or talking to a councellor or child labour (like mentioned by a previous user).

As for hitting, if it get's any worse, you can always talk to a councellor or in extreme cases, Childrens' Aid.

But, in asian culture, "learning through pain" is the most effective way to learn. People learn from pain/fear and it's built into their instincts. Not that I support child abuse, but to a certain extent I find such things as spanking and slaps acceptable.

I've been through it when I was younger. But now that I am in University, my parents trust me more and I have total freedom over my own life.

#50 JoeJe

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Posted 03 August 2006 - 01:49 AM

I think that maybe you should find a day when your father is really relaxed and you can tell that he's in a really good mood, try to ask him jokingly, why he hits you for. I don't know how violent he can get but if he will get mad if you ask him that then maybe you should try to talk to your mother about it. Your mother should be able to communicate with him better than you do and it's just a better idea then going to report him to the police because even though he hits you, he's still your father and I know that theres just no way you can do that.

Maybe you need some one face to face talking to you about this problem because sometimes over internet things may not be as clearly explained from us than from actually sitting down and talking about it. I hope that your father may stop hitting you soon but if he continues, you must really see someone about it.

I've got a friend who's about 18 and her father was hitting her like crazy and she moved in with her best friend and so far, she's living quite a nice life and she visits her father regulary but he doesn't hit her anymore. If you could do that and you feel ok to do that, maybe that could be a last choice at the end but of course, some people would get in piles of trouble if they moved out at such a young age.

Please don't panic over this too much and try to find a way to communicate with him. You know him better than all of us do and it's only you that can decide how you're going to stop his violence on you. Boajjangers have provided you with tips but I'm not sure that they're enough, only you can decide.


#51 光の世界

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Posted 03 August 2006 - 06:45 AM

I think it's pretty ignorant for some to say that all asian parents hit their children, or use similar methods of discipline. But remember, if your parents didn't hit you, what would you have turned out to be?

There are way too many students in my high school that run around undisciplined, and their parents probably can't do anything either.


#52 nekokage

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Posted 03 August 2006 - 06:34 PM

The hittings bother me a lot but it can be somewhat prevented I guess by being really careful around him ESPECIALLY when he's mad. What bothers me the most is the fact we have to work. When I get home from working I get in trouble for wasting time and not studying; but what about all the time wasted from working?

Are there any of you who have parents that own a dry cleaning business? These days it's so HOT it drives me nuts working there. (Like yesterday was around 100* F... and where I was working, it was around 110* F.) It's not a simple job where I just take customers or organize things. I have to sweat everyday walking around with clothes and bagging them.

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Posted 03 August 2006 - 07:22 PM

I think it's pretty ignorant for some to say that all asian parents hit their children, or use similar methods of discipline. But remember, if your parents didn't hit you, what would you have turned out to be?

There are way too many students in my high school that run around undisciplined, and their parents probably can't do anything either.

I, totally agree. It isn't just Asians who do that. Hispanics are known to be very strict with discipline. So strict that it would be considered abuse in the US. But it just depends on how your parents grew up too. If they were hit as a form of discipline, chances are that you will be disciplined the same way. Spoiled kids are a result of non disciplinary actions. One that is nurtured beyond motherly love, becomes dependant on that love, instead of going out into the world. I know, my cousin is like that, and hes never been hit in his life. Discipline is a form of balance in life. One must be discipline, to learn their mistakes the proper way.

#54 itz_me

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Posted 08 August 2006 - 07:46 PM

once my parents lock all the doors and hit me wen i was just a little gurl...tide me up on the ground....i don't know why....humm...

#55 ZizzyGal

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Posted 08 August 2006 - 08:18 PM

^ <_< sorry to hear that but OMG

yea my dad loses it and hits me sometimes but realli hes a nice caring guy. its pretty fair that u dont get paid since ur parents have been raising u all ur life. like i work too for my mom but she doesnt pay me. its okay.i complain but i let it go afterwards cuz i know that all the things they buy; food clothes and stuff, are to support me.

#56 whatta-chan

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Posted 09 August 2006 - 01:58 PM

to me it seems like working at the cleaner's is the big catalyst in your issue. many peeps here have identified with you and shared their experiences and advice. basically, we all want you to succeed in building a better relationship with your dad, for the sake of your family.

if you need someone there with you when you confront your dad, maybe you should have your mom and sister be there with you. if you three women are really important to your dad, and gather in front of him to show how much pain all of you are in....um..something should happen at least ^^;;. i'm not that great at getting points across, but just remember the longer you wait, the longer you suffer, the longer your dad remains oblivious.

you have all of boajjang's support! ^_^

#57 kickbhuttninja

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Posted 09 August 2006 - 03:46 PM

hmm, my dad loses his temper sometimes and throws shoes at us >_> ...well actually he only does that wen we do something wrong so yea...but other than that, he's really considerate and he actually does care about me. like he always has these deep conversations about how he wants me to become successful and stuff. but the thing is, he doesnt have those "deep convos" with my other sisters...so i guess i'm the special one? and it really helps if you talk to your dad. cas i do and it actually works. ^_^

#58 AnzuMazaki

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Posted 09 August 2006 - 05:31 PM

My dad doesn't really ever HIT me, I can only remember once when I was like 7...but then again my mom is the one with temper in my home...she used to hit me a lot but stopped around the time when I was 12 or so...now she sometimes pushes me and stuff but most of the time when she gets mad she just gives me the silent treatment (which is sometimes A LOT worse).

#59 boa girlz

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Posted 20 August 2006 - 04:32 PM

i can relate. i have a loving father to but sometimes if i get into a little mess with my sister he starts yelling. sometimes i see him and my mom arguing. i say "stop arguing" and they dont even know that they are arguing. they say " we are not arguing." but in everytime i got in trouble with him he gave me a second chance. if i did something wrong he would scold at me and if i did it again i would get beaten but not badly, only with his hand. that doesnt hurt as much, because im the youngest in my family and my sister bit me with braces on, one time so i learnt to deal with the pain. sometimes when i hear him yelling at my mom and my mom yelling at him i get really scared cause if its a serious fight they argue at drastic measures. but the next day it usually calms down. but im more like my mom the yelling type. but the next day usually its like nothing happened.

hmm, my dad loses his temper sometimes and throws shoes at us >_> ...well actually he only does that wen we do something wrong so yea...but other than that, he's really considerate and he actually does care about me. like he always has these deep conversations about how he wants me to become successful and stuff. but the thing is, he doesnt have those "deep convos" with my other sisters...so i guess i'm the special one? and it really helps if you talk to your dad. cas i do and it actually works. :D

yeah sometimes you need to let him no what happened first.and one thing you need to do is always tell him the truth because if he finds out one day you lied he might never believe you again. of course this never happened to me but.

Edited by boa girlz, 20 August 2006 - 04:33 PM.


#60 iRetard

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 09:00 AM

Hitting your kids gets them no where. And although they may think it helps their kid to straighten up, it just makes them live their life in fear. I don't think all Asian parents do hit their kids. I guess I'm just saying that because my parents never hit me. There were a couple light smacks in the face when I said something disrespectful when I was younger, but nothing more. They've stopped when I turned 8, they said I growing up and I didn't need to be hit to understand something and instead they would talk things out with me. You're 17 years old, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Don't let your dad keep hitting you like this. 'Cause it seems like the hitting always comes before the explaination. The hitting isn't even neccesary. Imagine if you're 25, will you still allow your dad to hit you just to understand something? You're not a mime, you can talk and listen. He needs to know that.

Edited by iRetard, 22 August 2006 - 09:00 AM.





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