Posted 23 August 2006 - 01:14 AM
Maybe they weren't exactly "little things" to your Dad....
Like even if it's some little thing, and he's told you about it a bajillion times yet you STILL make the same mistake, then it's not exactly a little thing anymore.
I'm not saying I'm doubting what you're saying, I'm just trying to understand your situation.
But lol... using the word "culture" to explain why Asian parents hit their children is just... wrong. Cuz, it's NOT their culture. I'd totally laugh (no offense to anyone) if someone says its their "tradition"... good thing no one did.
As for the whole thing about you working for your Dad without any pay... you've talked to him about this right? If you have... then yeah, there really isn't anything you can do except sue your Dad for violating the Child labor law... if you want to.
But what you CAN keep in mind is the fact that your Dad took care of you since you were born. Even though there were some unhappy times, he still paid all that money to "keey you alive" (in a serious saying). So I don't know, think as if working for him is "paying him back"... ya know? That's one of the best things you can do... I guess.
And one thing for sure, NEVER use your parents as a negative example when talking to your parents and comparing something. I've come to realize that Asian parents HATE that with a passion. It's, supposedly, "talking back" to them, which is a BIG nono in Asian families. I think that was the reason why your Dad beat you & your sis up the day when you guys asked for seperate rooms.
I hope you're not reading my post as if you're the one who's wrong about everything, cuz that's not true. I'm just giving you suggestions of what you should and shouldn't do.... since I can't exactly tell your Dad what to do or not do... so.... yeah XD
Posted 23 August 2006 - 05:08 PM
Posted 23 August 2006 - 05:20 PM
but sometimes she and my dad would hit us and it kinda turnt me crazy, violent..... I remember to saying I'm gonna KILL You and swearing all kinda stuff....But now the hittings don't hurt but it rather the emotional part that makes me cry rather than the pain, because the emotions that run through me reminds me of being bullied and my parents don't even know about it.
This is exactly what I'm going through right now. After the beatings, I think I got violent, like getting mad and screaming LOUD at my sister for stupid reasons. Now I keep on thinking back and there are times when I just cry for no reason at all. There are times when I just WANT to cry.
Posted 28 August 2006 - 11:43 AM
I know asian parents all hit their children; it's part of their culture ...
It makes me compare my life with other people my age and how they would be able to stand it if they were in my shoes.
OMGOSH, i know how that is!
i believe most of them are still living in the oldies, like mine. they were born in asia, and me in the US-- they expect all girls to get up before the sun does and cook&&clean -- believe me, i don't-- i wake up around 9AM/10AM and they say that it is TOO LATE--i think NOT. and yeaaa,hitting kids get them no where, when my dad hits me-- it pushes me over the board telling myself to do it again regardless of the consequences.
i don't know-- i believe parents like mine should let me grow up and be myself. i want to grow up like other kids, be able to hang out with my friends, live my life the way i want, --just really be myself, NOT how they want me to be. --but i'm going through the same! you're not alone
Posted 28 August 2006 - 05:55 PM
you said you're already 17 but do you act ur age? maybe they still seee you as a kid that's why they treat you as one...
when i was a kid my dad hit me like crazy!!i mean i've experienced being locked in a storage room and been hit many times. i was an angry kid back then but when i think about it, i kinda thank him for doing that coz i don't know what kind of a person i would've been like if i weren't corrected before. not that i agree with hitting , but thats just in my case.
and yeah my parents let me work in our store when i don't have anything to do...before, i was so mad at them for forcing me to work on the store because i wanted to play and do whatever other kids do. eversince i kinda spent my christmas and holidays in our store coz we're kinda like open 24 hours so i never really had normal holidays. now i realized that it worked for me, i beccamemore mature and responsible.
don't compare you're life with others it will just make you more miserable.
i think they just want you to become responsible and instill some work ethics in you. just think that you're helping them and you're paying them back for raising you well.you'd also have an advantage over other teens you're age who never had a job before.u'd have a lot of experience..hehe
Posted 10 September 2006 - 06:38 AM
And no, they don't make me work in their store. Because my family doesn't own a store. And if they gave a no pay work, it's maybe they want you to learn how to manage a store and one day, take over the store. About the no pay thing.. maybe it goes into your allowance or something. Or they buy you gifts. Their reward might not just come in money, you know.
If you are still wondering why they treat you like this, you can always ask them. It doesn't hurt to ask a "why?" question.
Posted 13 September 2006 - 04:12 PM
and im asian
Posted 08 March 2007 - 10:08 PM
Solve it yourself. My dad hits me with the bamboo stick aka the cane when I'm already 16, but hey, I don't call the police because of that. No matter what, your parents will always love you unless they're simply drunk retards.
My parents are pretty oldies too. >_< I'm born in Asia, but I am certainly not letting myself to be brought up the "parent's way". Avoid your dad's hits. Don't be persistent when your dad says no to sharing rooms. Be smart. Know when to stop.
Good luck <3
Btw, if you say your dad can be pretty loving at times, then he's not that bad. For me, I can hate my dad a lot sometimes, but at the end of the day, I'm sure everything will be fine. <3
I share rooms OKAY. So no complaining.
Posted 08 March 2007 - 11:29 PM
i mean beating u up for nothing its bad but beating is a good way to ...educate?
Posted 10 March 2007 - 07:48 PM
Posted 11 March 2007 - 11:46 PM
We're a Filipino family, and I definitely did not see it as an expression of love.
Now that we're older they've stopped, but I remember when I was around 12, my mom went ballistic on me after I yelled at my brother.
I mean, they stopped hitting me when I was around 6, so for her to just grab a belt and start hitting me was absolutely shocking.
I remember crying, going to my room, getting into bed, and just saying nonsensical things, like I lost my mind or something. But then she came into my room and yelled at me to shut up.
It's really not an easy thing to just call the cops on your parents. I know that for a lot of Asians, family is the number one priority, as in you don't talk back to your parents, you sacrifice for the good of the family; I think it's Confucian teachings of filial piety? I'm not sure, but that's how my family is, so if I ever called the cops on either one of my parents, there would be a lot of people angry at me.
I've learned to stay out of the way when my parents are angry, and my dad once told me that I should leave the room if I ever became really mad. When your temper flares like that, you're bound to say something that you don't mean and that will exacerbate the situation. I'm glad to hear that your father is loving most of the time, but I think that a bit of caution is needed when talking to them, you know? Anyway, I'm very sorry that your dad beats you; besides the physical pain, I know it can hurt emotionally and psychologically, but try and be strong for your sister. Talk to your dad when he's in a good mood (maybe when you're in church, I know my parents turn all nice when we're there), and be pleasant about it. No one likes to be confronted and attacked.
Edited by yakisoba, 12 March 2007 - 08:55 PM.
Posted 12 March 2007 - 08:31 AM
but parents have a problem with me going out with friends...cause going out will interfere with my school life....but they know that I know my first priority is SCHOOL and im not a stupid person that will do something to jeprodize it.....but they just dont understand...
Posted 12 March 2007 - 03:53 PM
There ARE Korean parents nowadays that are "COOL."
But that doesn't mean its everywhere.
I guess the only option is to run away.
That's the only solution I can think of at the moment.
My Korean friend is running away to the military and she's
in the same position as you.
Just think about it.
Posted 12 March 2007 - 04:10 PM
Posted 12 March 2007 - 08:04 PM
I don't feel that it's that bad..maybe it's because of the cultural difference.
Sometimes, I won't cry when they hit me but I will cry if they scolded me or lectured me.
Words are enough to make my heart cry.
and to answer your question, no, my parents don't really encourage me to help them work.
They want me to study and get super good results. ^^
Edited by yien_luvBoA, 12 March 2007 - 08:07 PM.
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