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[Problem] Is my Friend avoiding me?


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#1 anime811

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Posted 10 July 2007 - 11:24 PM

Well.
I noticed recently that one of my friend's been avoiding me or rather I think she is..
Not sure if I'm just thinking to much or what. :)
So I wanted some of your opinion on this.

I hadn't talked to her for awhile so I posted a comment on facebook (sort-of like myspace for
you who have no idea what facebook is). She replied with a "hmmm?". Then after about a week,
I commented again, but she never replied. ( I'm positive she saw it because she was commenting other people's
walls. So, I thought maybe she just forgot or didn't see it. Then I went on MSN, and she was on so I imed
her but she never replied. After like 5 mins, she puts herself as away but the thing is, I'm pretty sure she wasn't
because she always sets herself as away and I usually talk to her still and she replies anyway.
Then, yesterday, I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall with a few other people. She replied,
but it sounded so.... dead? I know it's just a comment but she usually doesn't comment that way.
I also asked her about her summer and what not but she didn't reply to that. Just said she couldn't
come. ;)

Whats your opinion on this?

P.S Thanks for taking the time to read =]

Edited by anime811, 10 July 2007 - 11:25 PM.


#2 Spring Sakura

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 01:58 AM

The msn thing may be a coincidence. After five minutes, msn is defaulted to automatically setting people as "away".

With facebook, well, one can never know. So far, you've only named two scenarios where she seemed to ignore you. It's probably too soon to say whether or not she is.

#3 BAMF

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 08:46 AM

I think your friend is definitely avoiding you. You must have done something to her or she's being a dumbass. Think about it. She never answers your replies on MSN, she doesn't write back to you on Facebook and when she does, she sounds retarded. Sorry but she's avoiding you.

#4 V-ni@star

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 10:11 AM

i think she is avoiding u. talk to her. maybe there is misunderstanding between ur girls. be patience until u know wat is the problem.

#5 anime811

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 08:19 PM

Thanks for the replies =]
Haha. I found out through another friend
that she is avoiding me ^^;;.

#6 Dr. Rockso

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 09:21 PM

she could be busy or have a family problem, and I guess dont feel comfortable at the moment
or she could be avoiding you
you know what, dam, just go to her house or call her if your so worried about this friendship thing
I mean look at me im a total loner and im happy...yup!...yup!
But yeah, you should ask her directly/face-to-face

oh oops i didnt read the entire thing
seems she has been avoiding you
bad luck...

Edited by Dr. Rockso, 11 July 2007 - 09:24 PM.


#7 yenaxchangmin

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Posted 31 July 2007 - 08:54 AM

your friend is avoiding you..

i had a friend who supposedly uses people. and i hated it.
i couldn't believe it. this was her process:

1. pretend that she's your best friend EVER
2. you start to drift away
3. she starts to avoid you
4. she dumps you in the trash and goes find another person.

when i found out about this and how many people she has done this to.
it was over. our friendship was done. i didn't want to be "discarded"

find out what that friend is up to and her previous friends. in case she always does these type of things.

#8 Yabisi

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Posted 31 July 2007 - 12:13 PM

1. pretend that she's your best friend EVER
2. you start to drift away
3. she starts to avoid you
4. she dumps you in the trash and goes find another person.

So many hypocritical friends like that. -__-

Did you ask your friend why she was avoiding you? Thats the first step. Some people are funny in ways like that. They start ignoring you, you don't know why, you're pretty sure you've done nothing wrong but you don't try to jump to conclusions because you don't know their current situation. But even if they were having personal problems, they still shouldn't be trying to make it seem like you did something to them. They could just tell you whats wrong...if they're your friend. They should just tell you straight out instead of beating around the bush.

Some people don't go away until they have their answers, so ignoring some people like that thinking they're going to go away is just so stupid to do. There's no commitment to friendships these days... I wish you luck in deciding what to do :/

#9 Isabella89

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Posted 31 July 2007 - 12:19 PM

She is definitely avoiding you. Is there any reason you might know of that could be behind it? Have you guys had any issues of late? Either way you need to confront her either face to face or on the phone, because using a computer won't get your point across like actually hearing the other persons voice. Also ask any other friends who hang out with her if they might know why she is avoiding you.

#10 kuraudo

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Posted 31 July 2007 - 12:27 PM

Hey there.
Between a mutual friend that just decided to go (we both know her name but its left out!) , can you ask yourself if the things that caused this former mutual friend to leave you recently, possess any similarity to the problems with this other friend as well?
You know,..like not doing your part in keeping in contact with this friend, going away for extended periods and not talking for a number of days, or once a week you may talk , leaving gaps between communication. Talking to a person once a week (ie 52 days out of 365 days) may not be good enough to be called good communication skills.

Maybe if you think you're not part of the problem then, okay. So she has just moved on, OR she experienced a personal problem, that she can't possible share with you. The other thing that you must know if you and her had some big issue but she never said anything about it and decided to not talk to you for a while. If that is the case you must figure out what that may be and talk to her about it.

#11 lapinktigre

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Posted 02 August 2007 - 12:47 AM

your friend is definitely avoiding you. i mean, for your friend's behavior to change completely different is an obvious sign. some things are better to talk about in person. going through the internet by email or chatting is easily avoidable. someone can easily place themselves as away for aim or say they didn't get your email. but there must be a reason for the change. think back, you must have done something that your friend thought was bad. that or something is going on in your friend's life that she doesn't want to talk about. if that's the case, then let her know you're there for her.

#12 fantom

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Posted 02 August 2007 - 04:48 PM

she is ignoring you :)
(personaly experience, if that makes you feel anybetter)
i honestly hate people with a passin but yet i want to help them. this world is crap, but its what you make of it (kinda off topic)

the best thing you can do is talk to her in person
also try to talk to her friends and see whats going on (this should be possible for you to do :thumbsup: )

truth is, if people are close friends and they haven't spoken in a long time, they become happy when they talk again
example: say you graduated from high school and haven't been in contact in like 5 years, thats ok
but drifting is the worst thing possible for anyone

there are many reasons why people drift:
lack of intrest; such as getting bored of seeing that one person for so much
you like the person but afraid to talk to them so you just hide
something personal in their life but too scared to talk about it (this is how you prove your loyalty as a friend by talking to them)
or simply because the person is a b.... (sorry, but this is true)

and know everyone has been through something like this...meaning you lost a friend, its a very sad thing but i guess thats just how things are

if you still have problems and need more help, you can pm me all you want

Edited by fantom, 02 August 2007 - 04:54 PM.


#13 foreverdancer

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Posted 03 August 2007 - 07:27 AM

there are many reasons why people drift:
lack of intrest; such as getting bored of seeing that one person for so much
you like the person but afraid to talk to them so you just hide
something personal in their life but too scared to talk about it (this is how you prove your loyalty as a friend by talking to them)
or simply because the person is a b.... (sorry, but this is true)

and know everyone has been through something like this...meaning you lost a friend, its a very sad thing but i guess thats just how things are

if you still have problems and need more help, you can pm me all you want


Drifting goes two ways. It's not entirely one person's fault. Something could've caused that person to pull back or they lost trust in that friend. Don't be so quick to push blame on one person. Remember you have to get both sides of the story first before you jump to conclusion.

Another thing is even if you don't talk for some time, if the connection is there, a friendship wouldn't get lost in the process. It's a lot of factors involved that can cause the friendship to sour and then eventually drift. It takes two to have a friendship and it takes two to make it work.

To Karen: I think what you need to do is like what the others have said. Meet your friend in person and try to arrange a meeting. The internet is too fickle to say what's what. Also try to think of possible reasons why she pulled away, so you can address them in person when you meet. Face-to-face contact is very important. It's showing her that you care enough to put aside time and make an effort into bringing back that friendship. But don't put all the blame on yourself, remember it could've easily been because she has her own personal problems and pulled away. I wish you the best of luck in solving your problems.

#14 fantom

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Posted 03 August 2007 - 08:45 PM

did she ever go to the mall with u and friends? if not then its 100% she is avoiding you
also try to see if she does anything with ur friends or w/e (i know, its stalkerish, but hey, u need to do what u need to fix this friendship)

#15 devilboiboy

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Posted 04 August 2007 - 11:57 AM

im 100% sure tat she is avoiding u
tips.if u wanna solve the prob talk to her face to face not through MSN ~~

anyway good luck to ya ^^




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